Last week I?discovered?the Wall Street Journal?article ?Why French Parents are Superior,? by American expat,?journalist?and author?Pamela Druckerman. It wasn?t more than?two paragraphs?down when I?felt my head begin shaking?up and down uncontrollably?- like a marionette doll at the Luxembourg?Gardens ? in agreement and recollection from my time abroad.? The article?discussed her book released last week,?Bringing up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting.?
Druckerman, raising her children in Paris, describes the French?parent?s ability to achieve?outcomes so many?American?parents seem to?have such?difficulty with. Like?teaching?our children to sleep through the night, sit nicely through long meals?(no ginormous bags of pirate booty and pretzels?every half hour?might just help, dontcha?think?), properly and politely greet adults, avoid interrupting and play on their own.?The French practices of teaching?respect, patience, self-control?and delayed?gratification ? with easy, calm authority?(?big eyes? she calls them), and being involved with the family without being?obsessive?are key points, according to Druckerman, and hard to come by in my parts these days.
Our baby was?under a year old?when we returned? to the States, yet I still got a small taste of the parenting?style in?Northern Italy. And I do say?Druckerman?s?observations?are?not just a French thing.? I?encountered some?similar characteristics?with?many?families there. At? birthday parties,?children played happily together while parents sat on chairs ? not down on the?floor? ? and enjoyed a glass of wine.?Down the hill from our house was part playground/part outdoor cafe (Awesome Idea. Why has it not caught on here?).?Moms chatted and drank coffee and the children played ? guilt-free.?At pick-up time at the local?Italian preschool, parents were not even allowed in the playground area. The kids hardly noticed. Finally,?the children knew they were expected to greet adults.
Parenting styles will come and go. I?ve tried them all. I?ll admit it, after reading one book when I was desperate, I even followed the advice to?roar (yes, roar) with my toddler as?she melted down?- giving voice, I guess, to the temper tantrum. Some?experts?say?feed their ego or they?ll grow up with no confidence. Others say don?t feed their ego ? if you do, they won?t be prepared for life?s hard lessons. Be their best friend. Be not their best friend -?show?who is boss! But?the article?suggests that amidst helicopter and other?kinds of current popular? parenting styles?- ?some core, common sense?lessons have gotten lost?and forgotten -??like setting boundaries and?teaching manners, good behavior and respect for who?s in control.
Even though she makes the point that French parents aren?t perfect, I imagine this book, like all others on parenting,?could?ignite a heated debate. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe I?m an example of a new kind of American mom, who went to too many Positive Parenting workshops early?in?my?mom career, and years later,?hear?myself?telling?my kids ?No means no because I said so!?? Then realizing?this is exactly the message I want to send them.
To read more about Pamela Druckerman and her new book, ??Bringing up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting,? visit http://www.pameladruckerman.com/books/
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Source: http://bringingtravelhome.wordpress.com/2012/02/11/french-parenting-lessons/
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